(sorry about the quality--I was pointing through a dirty window)

I had a whole host of things to post about, you know, but now the only one I can remember is "heaven forbid Little Ken ever discover the kazoo."

I really should start taking notes throughout the day, because alas I fear the time is over where I can just sit down and write the moment an idea strikes. Kids will do that, but that's okay. They're worth it.

moredetails did a meme the other day I've never done, so I thought I'd post The Top Five Subjects I Write About. :-D

1. My family. Mainly the children, occasionally the husband. I love them all dearly.

2. Food. Cooking, recipes, eating...it's all good.

3. Hobbies. Crocheting, knitting, sewing, and gardening (when the season is right). Soon I hope to return to piano playing and Kenneth has hinted a couple times recently that he'd love to hear the violin again. Also, I want to get beaters for my bodhran this year.

4. I dunno? What else do I talk about on a regular basis? Lately it's been little house and home victories as I recovered from the C-section, but I'm pretty much back to normal now so I don't know if that still counts.

5. Do pictures count? I don't post them as frequently as I used to, perhaps, but I still try to get one or two up on a semi-regular basis.

Oh! I remembered a few things:

- If one is going to wind a shank of yarn by hand, it is best to wait until the toddler is asleep or at least in another room. Yikes.
- I recently discovered baking French toast after pan cooking it, and I think it will become the new standard. I do not like soggy-middle French toast, but I don't like dark brown French toast either, and I've never been able to avoid both completely to my satisfaction.
- This year will be the first that I celebrate St. Patrick's day in a "traditional" fashion (now that I'm married to an Irishman, it's Important :-P), i.e. corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, and bannock. The bannock I'm making from scratch and the recipe looks most yummy!

Time for tea!

I was reading John 1 today, and I had forgotten about the interchange between Jesus and Nathaneal towards the end of the chapter:

43The next day Jesus decided to leave for Galilee. Finding Philip, he said to him, "Follow me."
44Philip, like Andrew and Peter, was from the town of Bethsaida. 45Philip found Nathanael and told him, "We have found the one Moses wrote about in the Law, and about whom the prophets also wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph."

46"Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?" Nathanael asked.
"Come and see," said Philip.

47When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, "Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false."

48"How do you know me?" Nathanael asked.
Jesus answered, "I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you."

49Then Nathanael declared, "Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel."

50Jesus said, "You believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree. You shall see greater things than that." 51He then added, "I tell you the truth, you shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man."


Reading it reminded me of the story of Hagar, and how in Genesis 16:13, She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: "You are the God who sees me," for she said, "I have now seen the One who sees me." That is why the well was called Beer Lahai Roi; it is still there, between Kadesh and Bered.

When I was younger, the idea of a God who sees me was not comforting, but threatening: I thought of Him seeing me in my mistakes, displeased and frowning. It is only as I have gotten older that I have been able to understand why this idea of being seen would be anything but scary.

Being married and having children has perhaps been the biggest piece of enlightenment on this. "Seeing" my children means so much more than just monitoring their behavior; it means I see their hopes, their dreams, their fears, their worries. I see their laughter and I see the slump of disappointed shoulders. I see them strive and grow and change. I see their likes and dislikes. I see their love for me and their father, their battle to be independent people and yet to try to please us. I see us working together to be a harmonious, loving people.

The aspect of being married comes into it because Chris is the one person who knows me the most. He has seen me in triumph and despair, in sickness, in health, angry enough to kick a wall and happy enough that I seemed to walk on clouds. And amazingly, this seeing doesn't lessen me in his eyes; instead, he loves me--and in his love for me through all things, I learn to love him through all circumstances...because he sees me, and I see him.

And I think that this is where I wrap back around to Nathaneal and to Hagar. They saw God, they learned to look for Him--but only after He had seen them. They learned to trust Him, because first He sought them out, saw them, and entered their lives. In the same way, I am learning to love Him because first He loved me enough to see me.

Tags: deep thoughts, god, seeing

These cookies are definitely unique!  They taste just like chai tea...and yet they're buttery and kind of spice-cakey.  It kind of tastes like what you think a Christmas/holiday cookie would taste like.  Warm with a bit of spice (just don't put too much ceyenne pepper in the garam masala like I did! ;-))

Glazed Chai Cookie Bars
taken from Crepes of Wrath

1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup dark or light brown sugar
1 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
1 egg, room temperature
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1 1/4 teaspoons ground ginger
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
3/4 teaspoon garam masala*
3/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon ground allspice**
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

Glaze:
3 tablespoons honey
1 cup powdered sugar
2-4 tablespoons milk (start with 2 tablespoons, add more as needed)

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F and grease and/or line a 9×13x2 pan. Beat together the sugars and butter until light and fluffy, 3-5 minutes. Beat in the egg and scrape down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula.

2. No need to combine the dry ingredients in a separate bowl, just add in the flour, salt, ginger, cinnamon, garam masala, cloves, pepper, allspice, and nutmeg and beat gently until everything is thoroughly combined. Don’t over-mix, though. If everything isn’t quite coming together in your mixer, finish it up by hand.

3. The dough will be very similar to a cookie dough, so I found it easiest to press it into the prepared pan by hand. Don’t worry if it looks thin, it’ll puff up when baking. Bake at 350 degrees F for 22-25 minutes, until the dough no longer wiggles when gently shaken and the dough is a very light brown. Allow to cool completely before finishing up with the glaze.

4. To make the glaze, combine the three tablespoons of honey and powdered sugar, then beat together until combined. Add in the milk, 1 tablespoon at a time, until the icing is a consistency that you like. Pour the glaze over the bars and allow to set (this can be sped up by putting the bars in the fridge, as I did).


* I didn't have garam masala, and didn't even know what it was, so I Googled "garam masala substitute," and this is the first thing that popped up.  Supposedly it tastes just like the real thing....I have no idea. ;-)
 1/2 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1/4 tsp crumbled bay leaves
1/8 tsp ground cloves

**Shocker of all shockers, I didn't have ground allspice either (I do now!), so I did a mixture of equal parts cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg.

Tags: food, public, recipe
Current Mood: busy

So far, my "Picture a Day" is turning into a "Picture Every Other Day." Seriously, I keep missing them. Fail.

This is my spring break from college. I meant to catch up on the Sociology Paper of Doom and Wrath, but between a very busy school week and not feeling all that hot--not to mention having a slightly-under-the-weather Youngest Boy--I really have done nothing with it. Fortunately, this morning I am feeling a bit better. Stupid sinuses--I think it has to do with the change in weather.

On a sinus side note, I really hate taking medicine every day, though I know it's perfectly socially acceptable. I keep trying to convince myself that I don't need my allergy medication, despite the fact that every time I stop taking it, I start to have serious allergy issues. Katherine, get over thyself and just take the silly medicine, won't you?

I've made muffins twice this week--the Feast of Unleavened Bread fast approacheth, and what better way to use up leavening than to make delicious breakfast foods? So far I've made pumpkin muffins and blueberry. I found a "new" recipe in one of my old cookbooks, and I have made the most beautiful muffins ever the last two days. They're golden, the top is round instead of flat, and they have a wonderful texture. On the down side, certain people (i.e., everyone in my family) complain that they're not very sweet.

On the work front, Book Fair is blessedly over, and things are returning to what passes for normal in a school library, by which I mean we can't find anything because we moved stuff around for book fair and yesterday a child told me I have hair like her mom. I am doing a little reorganizing, which feels good--hopefully, it will inspire me to do some organizing here at home, too. I need a robot butler. This is a recurring theme in my life.

Also, I continue to duel with the laminator and the copier. I don't think I've ever discussed in this public forum the fact that every time I successfully make a copy or laminate something, I secretly do a little victory dance and feel like shouting, "I WIN! In your FACE, Copier-lad!" or, you know, "Laminator Girl!" Because my secret fear is that I will somehow accidentally brand myself in a bizarre office-equipment-related incident. Or that I'll make a face and it will be laminated that way FOREVER.

Tags: laminating, school, work

So, I just went through my friends' page for the first time in probably, oh, about five years, because all those scratched-out names were getting to me a bit on the old userinfo page.

In consequence, I took a bunch of people off, and, um, if that came as a surprise to you, it means it was probably a mistake. I'm honestly not intending to remove anyone who still actually reads this old thing, even if they don't comment often, because I can be a lousy commenter, too, so if you find yourself suddenly out in the cold and would like not to be, please just let me know.

......Uhhhh, also, several of you have renamed your journals fairly recently and I kind of lost track of you, so I'm sure there's at least one or two people who got sucked into the pile of the 90+ names that I deleted by mistake. My bad... I'll pull you back out, and no hard feelings, hey?

And for the rest of you: keep calm and carry on!

And for anyone else: I'll still be your friend!

Dear Mama's Journal,

Today was a busy day (like usual). I ate as much oatmeal as Dada at breakfast, which surprised him. Consequently I didn't want much lunch. This did not surprise Mama.

My new sister was a lot less fussy today, so I think her growth spurting is over for now. I held her for a couple minutes (she's fun to hold when she's in a good mood).

I got to color for a while, and I impressed Mama when she asked me to get a red crayon and I did. I still like blue better, though.

My favorite game is ball chase right now. Basically Mama kicks the big bouncy ball at me and if it misses I think it's funny. If she hits me with it, I think it's hilarious and she gets points! I try to run away, but sometimes I laugh so hard I can't even crawl.

I think I wore her out today. We were playing and the next thing I know she was just sitting there watching me with a strange smile on her face. Anyway, I still had energy so I ran laps around the couch for a few minutes (Mama tells me it was closer to 10 minutes).

Earlier today I ran into my parents' room with the intention to hide there, but I got distracted when I saw some wadded up tissue and half a dozen other pieces of trash on the floor (my parents must be lousy shots). I simply had to clean it all up, and it took me less than 30 seconds! Mama says I put her to shame sometimes.

Tonight I demonstrated that I knew how to get the bath ready by pushing my bath toys in, turning on the hot water, and starting to undress myself. I was rather crushed to learn it was not a bath night...I love them so!

Hard to believe, but six years ago today, my Ben was born. He's such an awesome creature!
=D

Current Mood: pleased

I think we've reviewed--many times--the fact that I am not a gardener by nature. I'm too impatient, and fickle and--let's face it--find nothing exciting about getting my hands dirty. And though I rather wish I did enjoy it, as it seems such a responsible thing to do, I've made peace with the fact that one person can't do everything and stick to my passionate pursuit of all things involving sitting down and books.

But that doesn't mean that the imminent approach of spring leaves my heart unturned. Spring, while not my favorite season, is one of the top four. Much like fall, it's a turning season, a time of transition and anticipation. Anything could happen, surely, with the scent of spring on the breeze!

And while others pore over seed catalogs that arrive in the mail, or plan their flowerbeds and vegetable rows, I'm thinking about the sermon that my husband gave on Sabbath. In a by-the-way fashion, he mentioned that we are all responsible for building and for planting seeds, and that those things require stepping out on faith. If I put a seed in the ground, I want to run out there every day and see whether it's growing, much the same way that Chris hovers over his beloved sassafrass tree all spring long, nurturing it, tending it, and threatening the neighborhood rabbits.

But seeds take their own time. Some germinate in a week, some take much longer. And although it's not obvious to my eye, once that seed is in the ground, there is change happening. There is action and growth. But it will not be revealed to me until it is the right time.

I am a creature that likes definition and control. I like to know what's happening, why, who's involved, and what my responsibility is. When I put forth effort, I want results--now! I want immediate feedback! And yet, that is not what I am called to do.

Whether it is at home--with my own sons--or at work with others' children, I am only planting seeds. I don't know which will blossom and grow and which will remain dormant for perhaps a lifetime. I don't know which seeds will be a lasting legacy--what will my children, for example, rememenr? Will it be my special recipe for swiss steak? Will it be the family trips? Will it be talking while grocery shopping? Will it be hugs? Reminders? Monologues? The pattern of the fabric on the sofa? The hundreds of books? The weekly trips to church and then to grandma's house?

Will the students at school remember that I smiled a lot? That my voice was high and breathy? That I wore billowing skirts and big earrings? That I found them a book that they fell in love with? That I knew where to find information on frogs? That I was a foe (or a friend) on the "underground railroad" that ran through our school? Will the seeds of care and concern and love of literature that I am planting come to fruition someday?

I don't know, any more than I could have foreseen, last March, that I would be working at the school this year. The seeds I planted over the years brought forth a harvest I could not have expected. And I am trying to remember that, right now, in the thick of my worries about school and work, that I am still responsible for planting, and that a harvest will someday happen. I can't see the growth fully now. I may not see it for years and years. But there is planting, every day that I am alive and move throughout the actions of life. I can't choose what I will harvest--but I step out in faith that God is a faithful gardener, so much more conscientous than I.

Tags: gardening, god, life, school, spring, work

A sky full of hope.

( A cut full of photos )

Tags: 365_2010, picture of the day

At least when my husband spilled his tea last week (and then wrote about it), he only covered the floor and some clothes. In my mind, this is easy to clean up.

This morning when I spilled my tea, I not only covered the floor, but the counter, the open silverware drawer (because of course I was retrieving a spoon to stir in the honey), and over half the contents of said drawer. *facepalm*

I Greatly Dislike washing silverware, have I mentioned? It's like folding socks, only worse. And we have a lot of it.

But there you have it. I will clean it all up, but later, because I'M GOING TO HAVE MY TEA FIRST.

So there.

:-P